How to Behave Around A Pregnant Woman Part 1

“Common Sense Isn’t Common Anymore” is a phrase that I hear and use almost daily.  What use to make perfect sense to everyone to do or not do is not the case anymore.  People now need baby-step by baby-step instructions for everyday interactions.

Especially around pregnant women.

Now, this is just my opinion, with input from some friends, but I think most pregnant women would agree.  Here is the start of my list

Having a baby bump does NOT give you permission to rub my belly.  I mean I could go on and on, make this whole post about it but here are a few of the big reasons

  1. Personal Space.  I get it, some people are just touchy-feely and will find any excuse to hug your or whatever.  But you wouldn’t want me rubbing your non-baby belly, so why should you rub my belly.
  2. Maternal instincts.  We are growing a little human in our wombs.  That is my child.  Don’t touch my child.
  3. Sensitive Skin.  Did you know that some women actually experience sunburn like symptoms on their bellies due to the stretching.  Yea, it hurts. Don’t touch.

Don’t Call A Pregnant Woman “huge”.  We’re women.  We can be vain.  We are suppose to gain about 20 to 30 pounds in a pregnancy.  We develop swelling in random places, carry water weight and have a hard time maneuvering with our protruding bellies.  We already feel huge, you don’t need to point it out. And husbands, calling your wife fatty or even “phatty” is NEVER acceptable.

Don’t Ask “Is this your first?”  Such an uncomfortable question for so many women.  There are those who have had many miscarriages, or lost a child, that the question is just hard to answer, and it is hard for the other person to hear the answer.

Then there are those who have multiple children, and people give really weird looks when you say “It’s my 4th,” like you’re some kind of side show freak.  I hate when someone responds with “Ever hear of birth control,” or even more inappropriate “Ever think of saying no.”

Children are miracles from God, a blessing to their families.  Whether in our arms or in our hearts, every baby is precious.

Are you still sick?  Have you tried ____?” If you have HG like me, the answer is always yes.  And sometimes that’s hard for people to understand.  And then they list off things that they tried to deal with their morning sickness.  When you’ve been dealing with it for 20+ weeks, don’t you think a women would spend hours online looking up home remedies and old wives tales and try them all, just to feel better?  You really think telling me to drink Ginger Ale at 22 weeks is going to make me say “Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that?”

Don’t offer to help if you’re not going to help.  If you offer to make a pregnant women or new mom a few meals, or to come help with chores, or to watch the kids so she can sleep, and she accepts – DO IT.  If you’re not going to follow through, DON’T OFFER.  And, if she doesn’t accept – DO IT ANYWAY.  Call and say “I made an extra dish of lasagna for dinner, can I bring it over to you?”  As a mom of 3 with Hyperemesis, and a husband who works 50+ hours a week, making dinner and household chores are hard to get done.

Veggie Lasagna… takes 5 minutes to put together.

Make one for someone!

First Images

November 2013

18 weeks, still getting sick.

I was scheduled for our mid-pregnancy ultrasound, but it had to be rescheduled due to illness.

My husband and I didn’t want to wait.  We wanted to make our announcement, we wanted a picture to show everyone. But most of all, we wanted to make sure baby was ok.

We already knew a few people expecting and due around the same time as we are (April 2014) had made their announcements early on in their pregnancy.  We hadn’t wanted to steal anyone’s thunder, but we wanted our moment too.

So on November 22, we went and had 3D/4D ultrasounds done at My Little Me.  For $70, we were really hoping for some great pictures.  However, baby kinda had other plans.  We were able to get a few cute shots, but baby was breach.  Feet right by the face for most of the session, sitting at a weird angle.  We got one cute one, though.  Not sure which sibling the new baby looks like…

Samantha, 2005
Emmalee, 2006
Steven, 2008
Baby #4

It was an emotional moment, watching our son/daughter moving around, kicking it’s feet, even waving at us.  It creeped the kids out a bit, they didn’t quite understand how we could see inside mommy’s tummy.  But there is the newest member of our family.  Even if I’m sick everyday until the day the baby is born, as long as he/she is ok, it will all be worth it.

At 19 weeks, my official ultrasound was rescheduled.  Baby still breach.  It was hard to get measurements, but we estimate around 8oz in weight.  Couldn’t really get a length.  Again, baby was active, but this time it was harder to watch.  It was like there wasn’t enough room for him/her.  More waving, lots of hiccups.  Even a yawn.  We aren’t planning on finding out the gender.  Even if we wanted to, however, the baby didn’t cooperate.  Oh well, Steve wins this time.

Thumbs Up
Big Yawn!

Is A Baby Shower OK For Baby #4?

Going in to this pregnancy, we’d gotten rid of just about everything.

We have some outfits for each of the kids, our favorites, and the ones not ruined by spit-up. 


Any toys we’d gotten rid of because of concerns for the chemicals in the plastic.  


We don’t have a crib anymore, and the old baby carseat is long since expired.  


High chair had it’s last meal a few years ago…

So now here we are, expecting another baby.

We’ve had several friends ask us if we were going to have a baby shower… and several people tell me that if I’m thinking about having one, to not.

So I don’t know…. The last baby shower I had was for Samantha, almost 9 years ago.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love to have a party; why not have one for just the baby.  I mean, we still have a few clothes, and I’ve been slowly stocking up on diapers (very slowly).

I mean, a diaper party isn’t too unreasonable, is it?  Or a casserole party?  I mean, I’m having a hard enough time feeding my family with my being so sick, what’s it going to be like once the baby’s here?  Plenty of people have asked if they could help, and we’ve accepted, but then it slipped their mind or life happened…

http://www.toysrus.com/registry/

Registry #: 52002962

Hubby and I had a few evenings to ourselves while the kids were visiting my parents, so we went and did a baby registry.  Not really planning to have a shower; it was more to see all the things that we didn’t have… it’s  a long list.   We did sign up for the Babies R Us V.I.B. (Very Important Baby) program – where was this when my other kids were little?  Friends and family can contribute to a gift card, that can be used for diapers, formula and baby food, and then Toys ‘R’ Us adds an additional 5%.

So that is the question: to have baby shower or to not have a baby shower…?  This the the response I got from a 30+ mom group on WhatToExpect.com.  Still not sure what to do…

Snomageddon 2014

Well, 2014 has certainly been fun!

Living in the midwest, particularly our part of the midwest, snow can be hit or miss.  We always seem to be on the cusp of any snow storm that has potential to close the county.

Not this year!

Winter Storms Henry and Ion shut us in, even giving the kids a few extra days off of school from Christmas/Winter break.  The hardest part is dealing with the temperatures: The kids WANT to go play in the now, but it’s -7 degrees at 1:00 in the afternoon: not really happening.

All bundled up for 5 minutes of play

Snow has kept them in for the most of the past 2 weeks, and they’re getting stir crazy in the house.  Wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago when we could go for a walk?  Now we can’t even step outside the house.

It was so cold today that we tried the whole “toss boiling water into the air to make snow” thing.  Yup, it totally worked.  And it was awesome!

The girls were able to get ahead on their bible quizzing verses, and our son is enjoying all the toys he got for Christmas. But they really miss their friends and having someone other than their sibling to play with.

My husband had shown them the infamous “Bread and Milk” YouTube videos, and our theatrical children wanted to make their own.

And so, we did.

 

We were in fact running low on milk, but the Level 3 Emergency that we were under (making it illegal to be on the roads) was going to be lifted soon.

Regardless, the kids had a blast making this, and I crack up every time I see my son on the screen.