Bring on 2016

welcome 2016

So here we are, 2016.

2015 was filled with a lot of ups and a few downs, but I can say, 2015 was a blessed year.

My husband finally got a job in his desired field – an hour away.  But 6 months later, got an even better opportunity in his desired field, 15 minutes from home!  Praise break!

I however, lost my job.  It hurt – a lot- because it was not handled in the manner that someone who gave their entire adult life to an organization should have been handled.  (Not gonna lie, the worse part was none of my friends reached out after, either)  However, I had been in prayer and was seeking guidance to step down from that position anyway to be home more with my son (since you know, more than half my income went to child care anyway).  So, clearly, God was tired of my lack of action and allowed for that door to be closed.

But I’ve started new ventures, and returned to old.

When little Liam will sleep, I spend time crafting and cooking, leading to the creation of Arts & Glass by Cindy, as well as becoming an independent demonstrator for Uppercase Living. It’s fun!Arts & Glass

I also am doing some freelance marketing work, busting out the old Sociably Cindy name tag and business card was fun.  I think it’s time for a re-design, though.

I’m looking forward to writing more, being more involved in my community and church.  Oh, and the JBQ season is about to start – 2 kids in juniors, 1 in beginners, it’s going to be crazy!
BorrowLenses.com

How to Behave Around A Pregnant Woman Part 1

“Common Sense Isn’t Common Anymore” is a phrase that I hear and use almost daily.  What use to make perfect sense to everyone to do or not do is not the case anymore.  People now need baby-step by baby-step instructions for everyday interactions.

Especially around pregnant women.

Now, this is just my opinion, with input from some friends, but I think most pregnant women would agree.  Here is the start of my list

Having a baby bump does NOT give you permission to rub my belly.  I mean I could go on and on, make this whole post about it but here are a few of the big reasons

  1. Personal Space.  I get it, some people are just touchy-feely and will find any excuse to hug your or whatever.  But you wouldn’t want me rubbing your non-baby belly, so why should you rub my belly.
  2. Maternal instincts.  We are growing a little human in our wombs.  That is my child.  Don’t touch my child.
  3. Sensitive Skin.  Did you know that some women actually experience sunburn like symptoms on their bellies due to the stretching.  Yea, it hurts. Don’t touch.

Don’t Call A Pregnant Woman “huge”.  We’re women.  We can be vain.  We are suppose to gain about 20 to 30 pounds in a pregnancy.  We develop swelling in random places, carry water weight and have a hard time maneuvering with our protruding bellies.  We already feel huge, you don’t need to point it out. And husbands, calling your wife fatty or even “phatty” is NEVER acceptable.

Don’t Ask “Is this your first?”  Such an uncomfortable question for so many women.  There are those who have had many miscarriages, or lost a child, that the question is just hard to answer, and it is hard for the other person to hear the answer.

Then there are those who have multiple children, and people give really weird looks when you say “It’s my 4th,” like you’re some kind of side show freak.  I hate when someone responds with “Ever hear of birth control,” or even more inappropriate “Ever think of saying no.”

Children are miracles from God, a blessing to their families.  Whether in our arms or in our hearts, every baby is precious.

Are you still sick?  Have you tried ____?” If you have HG like me, the answer is always yes.  And sometimes that’s hard for people to understand.  And then they list off things that they tried to deal with their morning sickness.  When you’ve been dealing with it for 20+ weeks, don’t you think a women would spend hours online looking up home remedies and old wives tales and try them all, just to feel better?  You really think telling me to drink Ginger Ale at 22 weeks is going to make me say “Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that?”

Don’t offer to help if you’re not going to help.  If you offer to make a pregnant women or new mom a few meals, or to come help with chores, or to watch the kids so she can sleep, and she accepts – DO IT.  If you’re not going to follow through, DON’T OFFER.  And, if she doesn’t accept – DO IT ANYWAY.  Call and say “I made an extra dish of lasagna for dinner, can I bring it over to you?”  As a mom of 3 with Hyperemesis, and a husband who works 50+ hours a week, making dinner and household chores are hard to get done.

Veggie Lasagna… takes 5 minutes to put together.

Make one for someone!

Is A Baby Shower OK For Baby #4?

Going in to this pregnancy, we’d gotten rid of just about everything.

We have some outfits for each of the kids, our favorites, and the ones not ruined by spit-up. 


Any toys we’d gotten rid of because of concerns for the chemicals in the plastic.  


We don’t have a crib anymore, and the old baby carseat is long since expired.  


High chair had it’s last meal a few years ago…

So now here we are, expecting another baby.

We’ve had several friends ask us if we were going to have a baby shower… and several people tell me that if I’m thinking about having one, to not.

So I don’t know…. The last baby shower I had was for Samantha, almost 9 years ago.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love to have a party; why not have one for just the baby.  I mean, we still have a few clothes, and I’ve been slowly stocking up on diapers (very slowly).

I mean, a diaper party isn’t too unreasonable, is it?  Or a casserole party?  I mean, I’m having a hard enough time feeding my family with my being so sick, what’s it going to be like once the baby’s here?  Plenty of people have asked if they could help, and we’ve accepted, but then it slipped their mind or life happened…

http://www.toysrus.com/registry/

Registry #: 52002962

Hubby and I had a few evenings to ourselves while the kids were visiting my parents, so we went and did a baby registry.  Not really planning to have a shower; it was more to see all the things that we didn’t have… it’s  a long list.   We did sign up for the Babies R Us V.I.B. (Very Important Baby) program – where was this when my other kids were little?  Friends and family can contribute to a gift card, that can be used for diapers, formula and baby food, and then Toys ‘R’ Us adds an additional 5%.

So that is the question: to have baby shower or to not have a baby shower…?  This the the response I got from a 30+ mom group on WhatToExpect.com.  Still not sure what to do…

Water Weight & Extreme Fatigue

12 Weeks…

 

We were really hoping to only have the IV for a couple of weeks.

 

After 2 weeks, there was no way Bridget was going to let me off them.  I was still getting sick several times a day.

 

I began to eat one small meal a day, in addition to my Herbalife Monster Cookie Shake at New-Trition for breakfast: Mashed potatoes.  And not even made from russet or yukon golds… no powdered dehydrated mashed potatoes.  Seriously.  And I became kind of ‘brand specific”.  Idahoan, to be specific.  They were the only brand that tasted ‘good’ and would actually stay in my belly.

 

Life with an IV isn’t pleasant.  You have this thing in your arm, all day every day.  And you get this backpack.  It’s not attractive, so you can’t really pass it off as anything but what it is.  And it’s heavy!  The 4L bag weighed about 20 lbs, and after 2 weeks I was decreased to 3L, in hopes I would feel the need to drink more.  The 3L bag weighs about 15 lbs.  And you have to carry it with you wherever you go!

 

 

 

I adjusted my schedule so I changed the IV at night, so it wouldn’t be as heavy during the day.   But here’s the thing about having 3L of fluids pumped in your system everyday: in addition to the trips to the ladies room to get sick, you have to empty your bladder a dozen times a day too.  Imagine getting up at 3AM to go potty, and having to carry a 15 lb backpack with you… seriously.  Try it sometime you have to get up in the middle of the night – carry two 8 lb bowling balls in a bag and then tell me “It’s no big deal.”

 

The fluids helped me make sure the baby was OK, but there was still plenty of fear and doubt that baby was OK.  Then there’s the guilt about taking care of the rest of your family.  I was so sick that I had no strength to do anything.  Making dinner was hard for me to do.  I was thankful for my husband, and the care that he gave me, us.  But there were nights that he’d work late, and I’d be on my own to make dinner.  It was hard.  There were plenty of nights where all they had were PB&J and fruit.

 

I was so thankful for our friend Jenn making us dinner.  Though I wasn’t able to eat it, my kids did.  And there was plenty for dinner the next night, too.  We hadn’t even asked for help, she just went out of her way to help us out.  We are so thankful.

 

One thing that I’d encourage any mom dealing with HG to do, is not be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be embarrassed when it’s offered.  You are growing a person!  And you will occasionally need help.  So if someone offers, accept.

 

Hair Donation

I saw Facebook posts from La Luna Salon & Spa, of the ladies who donated their hair.  It got me thinking…

Over the last 7 1/2 years, I’ve donated over 50 INCHES to be made into wigs for cancer patients through Pantene Beautiful Lengths!

I’m thankful to be able to give something, even as simple as my hair, to those who are going through a difficult time.  If my tiny gesture, small sacrifice, can bring a smile to someone’s face, than it was all worth it.

17in, Oct. 2007 (at La Luna),

18in, Spring 2009 (Thank you Cara)

17in, summer 2011 (Thank you Jenn)…

Dealing With Mean Girls

Third Grade

That’s when it really started for me.  Something about 8 and 9-year-old kids, especially girls, that this age is when they try to test the power of control over others.

I’d experienced it for myself, and now I’m starting to see it affecting my daughter.

I’d been made fun of for the clothes that I wore, how long my hair was, my slight Boston accent, stupid petty things.  And yet, it really affected me.  No matter how hard I’d try to ignore it, I couldn’t avoid it.  It continued through junior high and high school; I couldn’t avoid it.

And now it’s my daughter’s turn.  She was telling us about a situation, and she told us she tried to talk to the girl, but it sounded like she was trying to dish it back, and failing at it.  She was being made fun of because of how she wears her hair, and because she did Bible Quizzing.

I sat and talked with her, trying not to cry.  I told her that just because that girl might like the headbands with lots of sparkles and big bows, doesn’t mean she has to.  They don’t stay in her hair very well.  And if it’s “too long” (as I was often teased for), maybe she’s jealous because her mom cuts her hair short.  My daughter has hair that most women swoon over, asking to borrow her for a little while to take to their colorist so they can get color just like hers.

My daughter is not athletic… she’s tried sports, but they’re just not her thing.  She’s not a bad runner though, but she doesn’t want to be a runner.  She likes music and reading.  I’m not going to force her into team sports unless she wants to try it.  But she loves Bible Quizzing.  She’s proud of the work that she’s done.  But in a public school, she doesn’t get an opportunity to share her experiences and talents.  Other kids who aren’t active in a church don’t see this as a real activity.  She should be proud of her hard work, and even if the kids at school don’t recognize her accomplishments, I know many parents who are.

As she was getting ready for school today, I told her that if someone is trying to say something to bring you down, just walk away.  If they continue bothering you, and it’s hard to ignore them, just pray for them; because even if they don’t seem likable at that moment, Jesus still loves them.

As a mom, who was in her shoes, I just want to protect her.  But most importantly, I need to let her grow and handle things on her own.

Have you had to deal with mean girls?  How did you deal with it?

Snomageddon 2014

Well, 2014 has certainly been fun!

Living in the midwest, particularly our part of the midwest, snow can be hit or miss.  We always seem to be on the cusp of any snow storm that has potential to close the county.

Not this year!

Winter Storms Henry and Ion shut us in, even giving the kids a few extra days off of school from Christmas/Winter break.  The hardest part is dealing with the temperatures: The kids WANT to go play in the now, but it’s -7 degrees at 1:00 in the afternoon: not really happening.

All bundled up for 5 minutes of play

Snow has kept them in for the most of the past 2 weeks, and they’re getting stir crazy in the house.  Wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago when we could go for a walk?  Now we can’t even step outside the house.

It was so cold today that we tried the whole “toss boiling water into the air to make snow” thing.  Yup, it totally worked.  And it was awesome!

The girls were able to get ahead on their bible quizzing verses, and our son is enjoying all the toys he got for Christmas. But they really miss their friends and having someone other than their sibling to play with.

My husband had shown them the infamous “Bread and Milk” YouTube videos, and our theatrical children wanted to make their own.

And so, we did.

 

We were in fact running low on milk, but the Level 3 Emergency that we were under (making it illegal to be on the roads) was going to be lifted soon.

Regardless, the kids had a blast making this, and I crack up every time I see my son on the screen.

Penny Pinching

I didn’t have any real “New Years Resolutions” this year.  Something always happens and I fail.

Especially now with as sick as I’ve been, I’m not going to try anything too crazy.  I’d say “get healthier,” but my doctor doesn’t care what I eat or drink at this point, as long as I can keep it down.

With the birth of our 4th child coming however, I really want to try to be more frugal this year.

I coupon occasionally, when it’s products that we’d regularly use.  I don’t do the ‘extreme coupon-ing’ for major stocking up; I don’t buy 12 newspapers and the thought of ordering coupons by mail is weird to be, but some people swear by it.   But I love reading coupons blogs to see what kind of deals I can get, if I could manage to get my hand on THAT many coupons…

Me and the Coupon Queen herself, Joni Meyer-Crothers

at her book signing (FreeTastesGood.com)

I’ve started researching to make my own cleaning and beauty supplies… some other DIY things to save money.  

We thought about cloth diapers for the baby, but not sure how the childcare situation will be yet long-term, and not everyone is a fan of cloth diapers.

I’m taking the pants that my daughters, which they had received from my cousins, and have grown to tall for (thank you elastic adjusted waistbands!) and turning them into skirts.  I don’t have a wide variety of Maternity clothes, but I’ve found patterns to make my own… the catch is finding the energy to do it…

I know many moms who have started their own side businesses – crafts, skin care, etc.  But I’m not that crafty and you have to spend money and make a ton of products in hoping to sell a few.

I’ve tried to sit through those survey sites, too, but I never seem to qualify, so it’s almost a waste of my time…

I have a Sam’s Club Membership, I’d like to start doing more bulk meal preparations, but again, a lot of it has to do with time and energy…

So at this point, I’m just trying to cut as many corners as I can, trying to set money aside for things like Bible Quiz trips, and maternity leave.

What money-saving tips are you using?  Any suggestions for me?

First Published 1/3/14

Surviving my first year with P.O.T.S.

My New Year’s resolution for 2013 was to eat healthier and run a 5k.    Who would’ve thought cutting out french fries and soda would darn near kill me….

I’d been diagnosed with NCS after the birth of my daughter Samantha in 2005.  I’d been exhibiting symptoms for YEARS, but because they came and went, and seemed ‘unrealistic’ to my childhood pediatrician, it was untreated.

I’d spent a few years taking Toporol and a variety of Beta Blockers, all of which were absolutely awful, and actually caused some pretty severe anxiety issues.  One morning I woke up and decided that I wasn’t going to allow the headaches and dizzy spells control my life, and I threw my pills away, in Jesus Name!

I’d been symptom free for about 3 years, a few bad days here and there, but nothing like it had been.  Then Pastor called for a church-wide Daniel Fast, and I thought it was a perfect time for me to cut my yucky soda habit.

And no, I’m not exaggerating when I say it almost killed me – started having my first ‘episode’ (considered by my neurologist to be seizures) while driving.  Not good, but I was able to pull over before things really got dark. 

I didn’t really realize what was going on.  I did a 48 hour detox water drink (water, cucumbers, lemon and mint), to help cleanse out the chemicals in my body.  It was supposed to last a week, but I couldn’t handle more than 2 days.

I switched to just water, no juice and NO SODA and still felt really dehydrated, like I was voiding more than I was taking in, when I knew I was drinking at least 70 oz each day.  Then other weird symptoms started to develop.  My word would slur, or I’d use the wrong word completely.  I’d lose focus, and would be extremely exhausted.  All this within a 1 week period.  I went to my doctor (who was a new doctor, fresh out of med school), who was testing me for diabetes, everything came back normal.

So I went to Facebook to lament.  I’m thankful I did, because a few high school classmates of mine had also recently experienced similar symptoms and had been given a diagnosis of POTS.  So I looked it up.  Sure enough, everything I’d been experiencing was right there.  So I printed out the information I found and brought it to my next appointment.  She’d heard of POTS, but was told in one lecture that covered it, that she’d likely never see a case.

As it happens, she’d had a patient come in earlier that day who also had already been diagnosed with POTS, and was picking her brain about her condition because her case reminded me a lot like mine.  My doctor told me that the brain fog and word jumbles where this other patients biggest hurdle, as she was a university professor.

The more research I did, the more people I spoke with, I realized that this was going to be another fun battle.  I needed to maintain my BP or the seizure would start again (Gotta love when the Doctor tells you to add salt and caffeine to your diet) and I needed to keep my stress levels low (Did I mention I have 3 kids?).

We tried some meds but I hated them.  The Beta blockers gave me anxieties again, and the BP meds made me exhausted.  I phased them out and trusted in Healing, because medications were not the answer.  I adjusted my diet, added salt (I honestly don’t use salt in my cooking) and enjoyed my tea and soda.  I also forced myself to drink more sports drinks (the zero calorie ones, which are gross, in my honest opinion).

Now that I’m pregnant, it’s brought on all kinds of new experiences… (See my other blog Sociably Surviving Hyperemesis).

I still have bad days, and I’ve learned from others with POTS and from experience what triggers can be such as antibiotics and dehydration.  I may have to deal with this condition from time to time, but I’m not going to ever let it control me.

 

Body Images

Being a woman is tough… it’s absolutely awful at times.

Women can be mean and judgmental… don’t deny it, we try not to be, but we all make at least one mean comment in our lives.

There aren’t many women who portray themselves as the positive role model that I’d want for my daughters.  So that’s who I’ve got to become.  But who do I look up to?

So many women look to Hollywood as to what they should be like.  Hollywood is a lie.  When I read this recent article about Jennifer Lawrence and airbrushing, I was sick to my stomach.  She’s gorgeous, and even with the makeup on, they still felt the need to paint her face more and make her look skinnier.  It made me sad, and yet I was glad to know she didn’t appreciate it either.

I’m the first to admit that I’m fairly plain… I hate make-up, but use it for “special occasions.”  I had a hormone imbalance that caused acne in my adulthood that no product would remedy.  I don’t have the money to get my hair done every other month, and my mousey brown hair is dull.  I have health issues preventing me from being as athletic as I use to be; I’ll never have the skinny chicken legs I’d always wished I had. I’ve got stretch marks and hips from carrying 3, now 4, babies.

And you know what, I’m OK with that.  Will I be parading around in a 2-piece bathing suit?  No.  I’m too modest for that, my body is mine and it’s private.  I’m not going to be ashamed of the body and face that I have, but I’m going to take care of it.  Will I go on crazy diets to be a size 2?  Probably not.  But I’ll eat right, drink my protein shakes and take my kids for walks and on bike rides.

While I do all these things, to show my girls who a real woman is, I can’t be the only one.  I want their teachers, their baby sitters, their friends’ moms, and their friends, to also be confident in themselves.  While I show them daily who I am in my, my husband’s, and in God’s eyes, I pray that the other women in their lives will also look away from what ‘popular culture’ is telling them is appropriate, and look to God for what is right.

We are made in His image, and we should take care of the body we’ve been given, but we shouldn’t be looking to gross exaggerations of what some Hollywood photographer thinks a beautiful woman is.

Me, all dolled up

Me, on a normal day

First Published 12/20/13