Sometimes people have a hard time reading others, so often times ask the wrong questions without knowing that it’s inappropriate or an uncomfortable topic. Others, just don’t care…
Don’t Ask “Are you going to quit your job?” Wow, so just because I’m a mom I can’t work? I was a stay at home mom for a couple of years, and it was ok… I loved being home with my kids, but didn’t have any other stay at home mom friends at the time, so I was lonely. Stay at home moms need adult conversation, which they don’t often get. Since I wasn’t outgoing, making new friends was hard. When I went to work part time I was able to be a mom, but also help support my family and feel like a productive adult at the same time. Now, I work at home doing freelance work (and trying to blog).
Don’t Ask “Is this your last?” Why is it any of your business? I’m very proud of how my 3 children are maturing and developing, and I welcome the challenge of adding 1 more child to our family. While the fear of having another scares me because of all the complications, if the Good Lord shall bless us, I’ll welcome the new baby with love.
Don’t judge a woman’s birth plan. If I could have all natural home births, I probably would try it. But my pregnancies have each had their complications that I feel safest in a hospital. What works for one mom doesn’t not necessarily work for the next. If she wants an epidural, she’s getting an epidural. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. If she’s having a scheduled C-Section, or being induced, there are reasons for it. If you can’t say anything nice or encouraging, don’t say anything at all.
Don’t Ask “Are you going to breast feed?” I cringe when I hear that question, especially around guys. Can’t you use the term “nurse the baby” instead? But again, that’s a women’s choice. And nursing a baby can be really difficult! I wasn’t able to nurse my daughters for more than a couple of months. I was given extra resources when my son was in the NICU, which really helped me be able to nurse for 9 months. But seriously, I’m the mother, the baby will be fed in a manner that works for me, and for him/her.